


Kanako and the Seven Skaters

by Nightowl03



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Crack, Fairy Tale Elements, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 10:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightowl03/pseuds/Nightowl03
Summary: There once was a beautiful maiden who was said to be the fairest skater in the all of the land.





	Kanako and the Seven Skaters

**Author's Note:**

> I've been on a fairytale kick recently.  
> This is complete crack. Just crack on crack.  
> The characters are all over the place and I have no idea what I just wrote.  
> Please enjoy!

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was said to be nothing short of beauty on ice. Her jumps weren’t always the strongest, but her speed and movements would draw all eyes onto her form. She was sweet and firery and her blades gave no mercy to the ice beneath it.

 

Watching from her palace in the Kingdom of Korea, Queen Yuna watched the girl via her magic ball. She then called for her advisor since her mirror got broken when the servants attempted to clean it.

“Yes Queen Yuna. What is the matter?” asked her advisor, a sweet young man named Adam Rippon.

“Adam, tell me. Do you think this girl is the fairest skater in all the land?”

“Of course not for you will always reign as fairest skater” replied Adam. Queen Yuna smiled.

“I thought so. Either way, let’s invite her for the kingdom’s annual tea party. Patrick!”

Patrick Chan was Queen Yuna’s loyal servant.

“Yes, my Queen? How may I be of service?”

Yuna pointed to her ball where the girl was skating about.

“See this girl? Her name is Kanako. I need you to find her…”

“And bring her heart back to you in a silver box. I will do so!”

Patrick left the room via the window and hurried off while Yuna shook her head.

“Adam, be a dear and warn this girl that Patrick is coming after her. Best she leave soon.”

 

 

At a frozen pond, Kanako had taken off her skates and placed them in her bag when Adam came crashing through the woods.

“You! I have come with a warning from Queen Yuna. Her servant Patrick is looking to kill you. She said you must leave. I’ll leave a sticky note that looks like a heart for Patrick to take back to the queen. Now go!”

Kanako didn’t know why this young man with curly hair was shouting at her, but she got her stuff and went racing through the woods. Now why would this Patrick want to kill her? Either way, she went running deeper into the frosty woods until she came upon a small…ice hut? Upon entering she realized it was a house. There was a kitchen, living area and stairs. Going up the stairs, she found seven beds. Four pressed up against one side. Three up aganist the other. Names were neatly carved above the beds. The first four names were Sota, Shoma, Jun Hwan, and Boyang. The three were Marin, Mai, and Wakaba.

Kanako then yawned and passed out on Shoma’s bed.

 

In the throne room, Queen Yuna was busy reading a new book when Patrick stormed in. He was covered in mud and leaves.

“My Queen, don’t be harsh with me. I found the lake where she was…but she had disappeared! I found only a sticky note in the shape of a heart. I swear that I will find her.”

“Patrick. You don’t need to kill her,” said Yuna. She grabbed an apple from her basket and handed it to Patrick. “This is the invite to my tea party…”

“I shall poison the apple and give it to her! Do not worry my queen! You shall forever reign as fairest skater!”

Once again, Patrick jumped out the window. Yuna sighed. He needed to stop running out before she had finished her sentence.

 

 

Seven figures were walking home after a long day at the ice rink. They didn’t know what their job really was but whatever it was, they enjoyed it.

“The door is open!” cried out Boyang. He whipped out his phone.

“Are you live-streaming this?” asked Shoma.

“Of course! Our house has never been broken into!” 

“I don’t think that something we should be excited about…” trailed off Jun Hwan.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad” said Sota who walked right in.

“Do you hear that? Is someone snoring?” wondered Marin.

“The beds!” said Wakaba. They all went running and froze at the sight of Kanako snoozing on Shoma’s bed.

“Uh oh” said Mai. Shoma’s lip puffed out and he put on his pout face which made his cheeks look fatter than normal.

“That’s my bed!”

“Oh calm down and don’t wake her. We’ll ask who she is in the morning. For tonight, you’re sleeping with Sota” ordered Mai.

“Why me?” wailed Sota. Wakaba hit the back of his head.

“Because last time Shoma couldn’t sleep in his own bed, he slept with Jun Hwan and kicked him out of the bed and Jun Hwan started crying which woke us all up and if Shoma slept with Boyang, he would just live-stream his sleeping face to everyone in China and he would wake up to a bunch of fangirls requesting to adopt him as their son. Shoma can’t sleep with us because we’re girls” explained Marin.

“That…makes a lot of sense” noted Sota.

“I know.”

So Shoma slept with Sota and the night went on. When Kanako woke up the next morning, she found the seven faces looking down at her.

“Um…hi?” said Kanako. Shoma’s face broke into a grin.

“I like you. Can we keep her? Please?” asked Shoma.

“Hello, fair maiden!” said Boyang as he live-streamed their conversation. “We are the seven skaters of the woods! We must hurry off and do our work at the ice rink but you may stay and rest.”

Kanako cooed over how cute the seven were and agreed to stay at the hut and tidy up while they worked. Little did they know, Patrick had seen the live-stream.

“I’ve found you now!” said Patrick as he proceeded to laugh in an evil manner.  
As the seven left for whatever job they had that day, Kanako walked around the small home and couldn’t help but wonder how the heck did four boys and three girls end up living together in this house. More importantly, where did this house come from and where were the parents?

She was so lost in that thoughts that she didn’t realize that Patrick has snuck up behind her. He was wearing neatly pressed pants, a button down shirt and even a vest. He looked like a dad about to drop his kid at school except for the shiny apple in his hand.

“Good day, fair maiden. Care to help an old man out and take this apple?”

“Are you Patrick? A guy with curly hair said you were trying to kill me. Why?”

“Damn it Adam. Stop giving away my identity” said Patrick. “I mean, no. I’m not Patrick. I’m just an old man wanting to give away this apple to a beautiful young lady.”

Kanako raised her eyebrows.

“I’m not suppose to take food from strangers.”

Patrick groaned. He was really frustrated now.

“TAKE THE DAMN APPLE BITCH!” he finally shouted. Kanako slapped him across the face.

“DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!” screamed back Kanako. For good measure, she slapped him across the other side of his face. He threw the apple as he fell down from the force of the slap and the apple hit Kanako in the head. She fell down and passed out.

 

When the seven skaters arrived home, they were in shock.

“Isn’t that Patrick Chan? Manservant to Queen Yuna and also works as a DJ called Pchiddy?” asked Sota.

“Yeah…but more importantly, why are he and Kanako passed out on the floor?” asked Mai.

“Maybe they took the phase ‘everybody getting tipsy in the club’ a little too seriously” mused Jun Hwan.

“Well…let’s just dump Patrick’s body over the hill because he scares me, but surround Kanako with flowers because I think that’s what we’re suppose to do” said Shoma. Everyone nodded.

So Patrick’s body rolled down the hill and Kanako was surrounded by wildflowers.

“What do we do now?” asked Marin.

“I think we’re suppose to gather around her and mourn because such beauty is now lost” said Wakaba.

“Should we live-stream it?” asked Boyang.

“No. Let’s keep her beauty to ourselves” said Shoma.

So the seven of them knelt down and proceeded to mourn…except they were really just lip synching to the songs that Boyang had downloaded on his phone. 

 

Dashing through the woods on his flying swan, Prince Yuzuru Hanyu of Sendai was looking for his lost childhood friend. 

“Darn it. She always leaves me.”

He kept searching, only to come across the seven skaters who locked in a firece lip synch battle. Shoma was lip synching his heart out to theme song of Barney while Boyang fist pumped in the background. However, his eyes settled on the sleeping form.

“OMG. Kanako?” asked Yuzuru.

“You know her? She fell alseep on my bed the other day” explained Shoma.

“Yeah. She’s my childhood friend. I’m also suppose to marry her and have kids with her, but we haven’t talked about it yet” explained Yuzuru. He looked at Kanako and sighed.

“Really Kana-chan? I guess I have to do it.”

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her mouth. Kanako woke up and proceeded to slap Yuzuru across the face. Needless to say, when their eyes landed on each other, it was like they had fallen in love. The seven skaters cheered.

 

Fast forward one day. Yuzuru and Kanako were happily married and adopted the seven skaters as their children. Boyang live-streamed the wedding and broke the Internet. Patrick lost his memories and now worked as a business man selling ice wine. Queen Yuna went to the wedding and gave the couple a gift of apples.

 

Everyone lived happily ever after.


End file.
